The Bachelor S18, Week 1 Review: The Season of Fangirls

Source: ABC

Source: ABC

I really wasn’t jazzed about Juan Pablo being the Bachelor, but like always, I’m completely sucked in. Since his stint on the Bachelorette, he’s actually let himself get a bit of a gut, plus he never had much going on in the pectoral department, especially compared to Brooks or Zak W. There’s no way Brooks was going to be the Bachelor this season after walking away from Desiree last year. I think Brad Womack ruined that opportunity for him…twice. If you read my Bachelorette review s last season, you’ve already heard me rant about Zak W, so I won’t bore you. To sum it up, he was the total package. Hot body, hopeless romantic, and a Texan to boot! I don’t get all the hype over Juan Pablo, so enough with all the screaming. Regardless of the producers’ poor decision, I’ll definitely be watching this season and putting in my two cents every step of the way. Here’s what I thought of Juan Pablo’s women. The names in bold are the women who received roses at the end of the night.

My First Impression Roses

Of the women Juan Pablo chose, here are some of my favorites:

Clare: She said in her intro that she’s “part Mexican,” so obviously she’s one of my picks because I’m half Mexican. That seems a little shallow, I know. I also love that she had a sweet relationship with her dad, okay? The fake pregnant belly was cute too.

Source: ABC

Source: ABC

Nikki: Juan Pablo is clearly smitten with Nikki the Nurse, from the way he watched her walk into the house after their first interaction. That dress really was awesome, and she totally got him with the stethoscope gimmick. And dropping the hint about taking him home? That’s Bachelor Gold.

Renee: How adorable is it that they already call each other “Mama” and “Papi?” After watching Doug on Emily’s season, I worried about Juan Pablo’s chances with a fellow parent, but that’s probably just a bad example. Hopefully they can get their kids together if she makes it to a hometown date.

Andi: She didn’t seem to get a ton of time with Juan Pablo at the cocktail party but they definitely have a ton of chemistry. Hopefully this self-declared tough girl can rise above the drama this season.

Alli: She reminds me a little bit of Desiree, but the tomboyish, tree-climbing Desiree we saw on Sean’s season. She definitely has the soccer thing going for her with Juan Pablo, but hopefully she can bond with Camila, who seems like a girly girl. She is a nanny, after all.

Source: Mansfield News Journal

Source: Mansfield News Journal

Chelsie: I want to call her Candice, because she totally reminds me of The Vampire Diaries’ Candice Accola. She’s just so bubbly and cute! That, or Miss Chemistry, because of her cute little science gimmick. In the promos, she gets into it with Clare, but I think Chelsie is one of my top picks!

Lauren S.: If you don’t remember Lauren, she’s the girl who rode in on a piano-bike thing. I’m sure there’s an official name for it but I don’t know what it is. Her online bio lists Detroit as her hometown, but on the show Austin is listed, so I’m assuming that’s where she currently lives. Either way, music runs through her veins.

Victoria: Since she’s Brazilian and Juan Pablo’s Venezuelan, they might have a bit in common. Granted, their home countries are on opposite ends of South America, but they just seem to click.

Shockers

I was more than a bit surprised when Juan Pablo gave roses to these women:

Source: ABC

Source: ABC

Sharleen: I guess I’m not shocked that Juan Pablo gave her a rose, but I’m surprised that she accepted it since she’s feeling pretty lukewarm about him. In the promos it looks like she’ll be stirring up a lot of drama this season.

Chantel: She just didn’t stand out to me very much. We see her crying in the promos, but it looked like she was still at the mansion in California. That tells me that she might not last too long, which is sadly typical for both men and women of color on this show.

Kelly (and Molly): Really? The girl with the dog? That little furball is pretty much the only thing she has going for her. She actually listed “Dog Lover” as her career, and said in her online bio that Christmas is her favorite holiday. We may later learn that she works at an animal shelter, but for now she just sounds like a gold digger. Also, is the dog going to stay in the mansion with her?

Cassandra: Another woman that didn’t make a strong first impression with me. She’s a former NBA dancer who currently works as a makeup artist. She’ll definitely do well during the dancing dates that we see in the promos, but she just doesn’t seem like she has much substance.

Danielle: Again, not a very memorable woman, other than her curly hair. She’s a psychiatric nurse, which reminded me of Shawntel N. from Brad’s season (the funeral director) right off the bat. If she makes it to hometown dates, I hope she doesn’t take him to the office!

Source: ABC

Source: ABC

Christy: She only stood out because she wore a white dress. I thought it was part of a bridal bit, like Lindsey on Sean’s season, but she didn’t crack any jokes about it or anything.

Lucy: Ew. I fully expected her to raise her arms and flash some hairy pits. She lists her career as a Free Spirit, which just means she’s too embarrassed to admit that she works in retail. Put on some shoes, girl!

Elise: I remember her for her bling bling dress and her Miss America reaction to getting a rose. I worry that Juan Pablo gave her the pity rose because she told him that her mom passed away. Plus, she was previously in an 8 year relationship, yet she’s only 28. High school sweetheart? That might make for an awkward hometown date.

Source: ABC

Source: ABC

Amy L.: She was a little too excited to get her rose. Not quite the song and dance that Lucy had, but be cool, girl! I thought it was interesting that she lists Local News Reporter as her career, and said that “the sun could not set fast enough” that night. Is she a weather girl by any chance?

Kat (not Kylie): The only thing I remember about her is that Juan Pablo says she smelled good. In her online bio, she listed Medical Sales Rep as her career, which is today’s “hot girl job” according to Barney Stinson!

I was sad to see these women go:

Ashley: I loved her Teacher/Gold Star gimmick, which went so well with the cute gold dress she wore. Plus she’s from Texas (gotta rep my state again!), and listed Dr. Seuss as her favorite author and Beauty and the Beast as her favorite movie in her online bio. That tells us exactly what she’s made of: Stepmom material!

Source: ABC

Source: ABC

Maggie: Her fishing hook was adorable, and clearly said a lot about her personality and family. That accent was killer too. Gotta love a Southern Belle.

Lacy: Maybe I’m just easily entertained, but I love the gimmick girls. Her biggest mistake with the Red Hots was not making a comment about how red hot their romance would be. Sadly, she also missed her opportunity to tell Juan Pablo about her family. Big families are always a huge risk on the show, but I wanted to know more about the nursing home too. She opened it at age 20!!! Your loss, dude.

Rightfully Rejected

Kylie (not Kat): I felt so embarrassed for her when she walked up to accept Kat’s rose! I guess that’s what happens when you choose a Bachelor with a thick accent.

Amy J.: YIKES. That chick was one crazy cougar. I thought her closing line was quite punny. “People don’t always feel you the way you feel them.” Get it? She’s a massage therapist! I slay me.

Source: ABC

Source: ABC

Lauren H.: She clearly came on the show too soon after her failed engagement. What a crybaby! Even without her, it looks like we’ll still see plenty of tears this season.

Valerie: She came off a little conceited in her intro, telling us that she knows she’s pretty. Wow. And to quote 27 Dresses, “What color is that? Vomit?” Actually, my first thought was booger, but her gown at the cocktail party was the same hue as Katherine Heigl’s favorite bridesmaid dress in the movie.

If you’re a loyal reader, you know I love to make predictions. My top four picks are Victoria, Nikki, Renee, and Chelsie, in that order. I’ll update that each week as we see the claws come out.

What did you think of the women Juan Pablo picked and rejected? Is there anyone he should have kept or sent home? Who do you think would make the best stepmom for Camila?