Can I Walk You Out?
Hallelujah! I was so close to giving up The Bachelorette this season if Britt was chosen to dole out roses for the summer. Oh, who are we kidding? I still would have watched it, but with my peripheral vision because my eyes would be permanently rolled during every episode. Long Live Bachelorette Kaitlyn! Let’s meet her guys…
Shawn is definitely the frontrunner so far, coming on the show waving his Team Kaitlyn flag and getting the First Impression rose and the second kiss. This might be a stretch, but I think he bears a striking resemblance to Peter Stormare (Prison Break, The Blacklist), whom I’ve never considered attractive but I kind of have the hots for Johnny Abruzzi now!
Chris, or “Cupcake” as ABC is nicknaming him, got the first kiss of the season. Sure, he’s cute, but he reminds me a ton of Andrew Rannells (The New Normal, The Book of Mormon), and that totally creeps me out. Good luck to him though!
Ian was quite the eager beaver this week, stealing Kaitlyn away for the first alone time after the introductions AND after the votes were counted. I don’t think she’s that into him but he deserves a gold star for his effort!
I’m not a drinker but I am drunk on Joe’s accent, not to mention his cute gimmick with the moonshine. I know the season has already finished filming, but can I suggest that he accepts every single rose with a “Yes, Ma’am?” Yes, please!
Joshua has got to be one of the manliest contestants this show has ever had. He welded Kaitlyn a freaking rose. Hawt!
Did anyone else notice two of The Avengers on the show? I’m talking about Clint and Ben Z., who are the spitting images of Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans, respectively. Great looking picks, Kait!
Ryan B just might hereby be known as Sober Ryan, thanks to Ryan M. I don’t remember a thing about him other than voting for Kaitlyn!
Not only did this week’s episode feature two Shawns, Ryans and Bens, but there’s a Cory and a Corey! Corey alluded to Kaitlyn’s “plow my fields” joke from last season and is an investment banker. Ka-ching!
I have to give props to Tanner for giving Britt the snide fakeout gift of tissues. Hopefully he’s a bit nicer to the girl he actually likes!
Brady was obviously the captain of Team Britt, which was why he left the mansion to go after his Bachelorette. As much as I can’t stand her, he makes a pretty great consolation prize!
Tony the Healer is probably still feeling the energy radiating from Britt’s ballot box, but he told Kaitlyn that her victory was “well deserved.” This is also the guy that gave the same canned speech to both women on the front steps. I don’t know who is more fake, him or Britt…
As you already know, Kupah is one of many doppelgangers on the show this season. Is anyone else seeing LL Cool J in him? Kupah joins the ranks of contestants that have listed ‘Entrepreneur’ as their occupation, which is usually code for, “I have no job.”
Jonathan also publicly voted for Britt and all the guys know it. Will anyone blow the whistle on him? Speaking of weird jobs, what is an ‘Automotive Spokesman?’ I mean, I know what it is but I’ve never seen or heard him on any advertisements for cars!
Riding the Fence
Even though Jared voted for Britt, I’m putting him in this category for his sincere admission of his choice to Kaitlyn. I saw a lot of him in the promos so I guess she’s okay with it!
Ben H voted for Britt after bonding over their sponsored children (I’m sorry, but gag), but was the first guy on either The Bachelor or Bachelorette to ask Kaitlyn about the meaning behind her bird tattoos. How sweet!
It’s unclear who JJ voted for, though he left the limo with a dirty joke and a gift for Kaitlyn…the hockey puck! However, he didn’t say another word to Kaitlyn until after the tally so I’m guessing he picked Britt. He’s also one of a few single dads still left on the show.
I honestly have no clue who Daniel voted for so that’s why he’s in this group! The only memorable thing he did was dance with the girls after exiting the limo.
I want to root for Cory with no E because he’s a Texan, but he was pretty cold to Kaitlyn coming out of the limo. If you don’t remember, he’s the guy that gave her a quick hug before running to Britt’s open arms. Just because a hug is free doesn’t mean it’s better!
Justin was one of the many flip floppers that came on the show for Kaitlyn but ended up voting for Britt. He perked up again when he saw that Kaitlyn won the race and I can’t help but forgive him because I could watch him suck on helium balloons all day as long as he does it with those gorgeous lips!
As always, shame on you if you didn’t watch the promo for next week’s episode! This looks like it’s going to be the most dramatic season ever. Kaitlyn has sex with one of the guys before the Fantasy Suite, falls for Nick V. (yes, THAT Nick V.), and appears to have her finale in San Antonio, Texas of all places! Hopefully she gets a proposal because there isn’t a more memorable place to get engaged than the Alamo!
What did you think of this week’s episode? Were you Team Britt or Team Kaitlyn? Do you think the guys that voted for Britt can give our new Bachelorette a fair and genuine shot at love? Who do you think will get the final rose? Let’s discuss in the comments below!