My what a long three weeks that was. So much has happened in the world. The Tonight Show has a new host. A bunch of stray puppies in Sochi have a new home. The NBA has its first openly gay player. Oh, and news broke that NBC plans to resurrect Heroes, which is perhaps the most baffling (and awesome) news story of all. Yatta!
When last we left our dysfunctional little family, Rebekah had been torn to shreds by werewolves, Klaus got a gut full of crazy-making bone dagger, and Elijah chose to rescue Hayley, her wolf friend and his unborn niece over both of his siblings. Tonight, Klaus and Rebekah find themselves in a creepy sanitarium, Elijah is tasked with finding them, and Hayley is forced to endure the most horrific torture of them all … look at half-naked Elijah. Poor girl.
I Became Insane…
Genevieve and Rebekah used to be friends a long time ago. And, by “friends,” I mean Genevieve was a nurse to a bunch of contagiously sick people and Rebekah nursed them, too, in hopes of getting the witch to do a spell bringing her father to New Orleans so he could handle Klaus and she and Marcel could be out in the open with their relationship. Which is close enough to the Webster’s definition of “friend.”
Turns out, Bex got cold feet. Unfortunately, her case of the frosty footsies came after Genevieve had done the spell. She couldn’t stop it, so Bex was forced to cover her mouth with a bloody rag, getting her (and the nurse’ meat suit Celeste was walking around in) sick and quarantined so they couldn’t tell Klaus. Celeste got another body, Genevieve got to hack up a lung and die. She’s understandably miffed.
I have to say, I do not like this pattern of torturing my beloved Rebekah. Yes, this episode was spooky. And, yes, I did jump a few times (those kids were freaking creepy). But, my heart aches for Bex. All the girl wants is a little love and companionship. Instead, she’s been daggered six ways from Sunday, leeched off of by a resurrected voodoo man, mauled by wolves, left prone to horrible hallucinations and, oh yeah, got beat up by her own brother. And that’s just in the last few episodes!
Klaus’ weird bone knife thing, however, did not live up to its hype. We were told that thing would hurt him so bad he wished he was dead. Unless there’s some sort of whammy coming, all I saw was him being slightly weakened. Maybe the “pain” was supposed to be Bex and Marcel’s betrayal, but considering he’s childish enough to dagger someone for the “epic betrayal” of forgetting to put the little marshmallows in his hot cocoa, I’m going to claim a letdown on that end of things. Come on, Julie. Couldn’t you have him stagger around seeing scary ghost people and let Bex take an episode off?
…With Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity
Outside of the sanitarium, Elijah pays a visit to Sophie’s funeral. He wants to know where his siblings are. What he gets is a riddle. A spell prints the names of Celeste’s previous hosts all over his body (lucky spell) and he’s led to believe deciphering the clues will lead him to his siblings. And, of course, it’s Hayley who is charged with writing them down. However she could manage such a daunting task of looking at half-naked Elijah I’ll never understand. Who am I kidding? If I were in her shoes, I’d have been writing very, very, very slowly. I’d still be writing this time next week. Klaus would be termite chow by the time I got done writing.
After chasing Celeste’s old bodies, the trio of Elijah, Marcel and Hayley figure out Celeste and Genevieve are holed up with his sibs at the old sanitarium. But, before they go rescue them, Marcel comes clean about his and Rebekah’s plan from nearly a century ago. Elijah knows that Klaus has the maturity of Angelica Pickles and that he will not care that so much time has passed, so he and Marcel take off, hoping to get to them before Klaus finds out the truth.
They don’t make it. But, they do manage to stop Klaus from nearly killing Bex. She and Marcel take off on the run, leaving Elijah to explain to Klaus why he betrayed him by stabbing him with the world’s most useless knife and allowed them to escape. Because the betrayals done unto him matter so much more than the betrayals he dishes out. Just give the guy a lifetime supply of breakable barware to sling across the room and call him Sonny Corinthos already.
I don’t know how I feel about this episode. Going into it, I was prepared to gush over this show like Jimmy Fallon gushes over…well, everything in the history of ever. I did enjoy it when I was watching live, swept up in the spooky and waiting patiently for the Klaus torture we were promised three weeks ago. Maybe it’s the writers’ block I’ve been dealing with or the slight headache I’m forming or my unconditional love of Rebekah, but I’m kind of mad at this episode now that I’ve organized my thoughts for this review. And, it’s not a distinct anger that I can easily address, it’s a more passive-aggressive anger. I almost want to say to this show, “I love you, but I don’t like who you are sometimes.” I guess at the end of the day, I’m just frustrated that, once again, Klaus skates by with little physical discomfort while Rebekah is left to suffer and grovel at his mercy. How can a show that once seemed so progressive in its sense of sisterhood keep victimizing one of its female leads this way?
And, yes, I do consider Rebekah a victim. Not of Genevieve’s. She made that bed and all with her shady ways. I consider her a victim of Klaus’. It’s getting uncomfortable to watch her constantly living in fear of her own brother. It’s 2014. She’s over a 1000 years old, beautiful, smart, charming and has a great taste in shoes. If you really want to do something dramatic, have her take back her independence. Because episode after episode of Rebekah in peril and Rebekah cowering to Klaus is going to get old. Fast. And, if I never see him put his hands on her again, especially when she’s weak and defenseless, it’ll be too soon.
Final Grade: C
PS: What’s up with my supernatural shows tormenting my favorite characters in insane asylums this week? First Stiles, now Bex?