Pretty Little Liars S5.02 Review – Whirly Girlie

Pretty Little Liars S5.02 Review – ‘Whirly Girlie’
June 17, 2014 – ABC Family

LUCY HALE, ASHLEY BENSON, TROIAN BELLISARIO, SHAY MITCHELL, SASHA PIETERSE

If the goal of ‘Whirly Girlie’ was to make us dizzy with excitement, it failed miserably. It should have given us butterflies, it had everything going for it: the Liars were together, Jason and Toby were back and Ali had a showdown with Mona!

Planet Alison

If there’s any place the Liars don’t want to live, it’s probably Planet Alison. Well, except for Emily but she’s not thinking with her head. After they convince Ali to come clean to the cops about everything, Alison marches into the police station and creates a new reality.

The Liars look on in frustration, but resigned, silence as Alison talks of being kidnapped and spins a tale that has more holes in it than a rocker has piercings.

Since Aria was willing to take the fall for killing Shauna, the Liars aren’t pleased with Alison’s new truth. Ali, quick on her feet as always, insists she was protecting Aria because she received an anonymous text warning her that the truth would bury them in a New York minute. Much like the kidnapping story, Ali’s explanation makes no sense. Aria wanted to tell the truth about Shauna! But it’s Ali, who knows if she even knows what the truth is anymore.

As for why the Liars go along with it? Its ninth grade all over again, Spencer complains. It’s going to be a long season if our Liars revert back to their pre-Alison disappearance, wishy-washy selves.

‘A’ is Dead … or Not

All the Liars, and Alison, are operating under the impression that ‘A’ is dead. Why? ‘A’ has been a mask worn by many in their tiny town, so Shauna’s death really means nothing. Especially with Ali’s mystery text and Aria being haunted by mysterious instrumental music uploaded to her iPod.

Only Aria would be haunted by violins and fiddles. If she hadn’t killed Shauna, I’d be convinced she was ‘A’ because nothing too dire ever happens to her. I did love that she’s literally wearing her feelings across her chest in a t-shirt that reads ‘You’re No Good.’ Aria’s the liar the Liars turn to when the story needs to be sold, but Shauna’s death may be too much for even Rosewood’s own Best Liar award winner.

Plus, she’s the only one with enough sense to realize that ‘A’ is probably not dead. Her crazy eyes (girl has stopped blinking!) mean we should be doubting her sanity, but props to Aria because she’s the only one who seems to know what they are up against.

London Calling

Toby’s back from London and hasn’t showered since. He’s there to tell Mrs. Hastings and Spencer the truth about Melissa, but his oily hair makes it hard to concentrate.

Melissa lied when she said she ran into Toby, he never saw her, only Wren. No clue on why he’s telling Spencer’s mother this, but it’s an interesting tactic. Talk to an adult when something weird goes on. Novel concept in Rosewood. Mrs. Hastings isn’t in the mood to play detective though. She just picked up Spencer from jail (again), a dead girl is really alive and so Melissa has a few secrets and an attitude problem. What’s a mother to do?

With her boytoy back from the UK, Spencer ignores the Liars calls for a bit to indulge in some sexy time. Don’t you wonder where he’s been, Spencer, with hair like that? He looks like he’s been banging Courtney Love rejects. Hanna and Emily have nice hair, take their phone call!

Mrs. DiLaurentis’ Choice

Mr. DiLaurentis (who is a poor substitute for Mrs. DiLaurentis) and Jason come home to welcome Ali back to the living and it’s not easy on any of them.

Mr. DiLaurentis blames Jason for not being happy that Ali’s home and thinks Jase knows where his MIA wife is. Jason won’t tell him anything, so he asks Hanna’s mom to go through Mrs. DiLaurentis’ work email to figure out where she is. Luckily, Hanna overhears, spies on her mom spying and discovers an email to undisclosed that says Mrs. DiLaurentis can’t protect them anymore. Who’s it to?

Emily lays the blame at Jason’s feet. Usually her love for Alison has her blinded, but somehow she managed to grasp that a mother would only sacrifice one child to protect another. Way to go Em!

Brothers and Sisters

Jason has been in New York but is telling everyone he was in Philly. He needs to go back to Philly to drop something off for a friend. Jason hasn’t cried with joy at Ali’s return. He’s watching his little sister sleep. He doesn’t like the cute shelter dog that Mrs. DiLaurentis adopted. He’s yelling at Hanna and Emily for delivering Ali’s mom’s emails to the DiLaurentis house.

Jason has pretty much drawn a map of where to find the bad guy, labeling himself with the incriminating X.

Despite the dark picture he’s painted, when confronted by Spencer, her brother denies it all. Well, not being in New York, but he denies that he’s the bad guy and insists that his father is setting him up. He’s a lost little boy when he tells Spence that without his mother, there is no one who will defend him. He’s right. Alison admitted to Spence that she thinks her dad knows that Jason isn’t his and we’ve seen that Mr. Hastings isn’t going to do much to help Jason. Even if he’s the evil ‘A’ ringleader, it’s the DiLaurentis’ and Mr. Hasting that made him this way.

Aria’s having a less complicated moment with her brother. Mike wants details about Alison’s return and Aria shuts him out, her own guilt making it impossible to talk. Later she walks in on him having pizza with Mona and flips out. Is Mona using Mike to spy on the Liars again?

Well, that and hopefully sexy times because Mike’s too hot to waste on fact finding missions alone.

DiLaurentis Day

Despite Mr. DiLaurentis’ orders to stay in the house, Alison slips on a black hoodie and sneaks away to pay a moment of silence to the dead girl in her grave. Mona wants to pay a moment of respect too, but not for blonde girls alive or dead. Instead, she admits to Ali that she sent the mysterious New York text. Ali tries to placate Mona, and since it’s Ali we don’t know if she’s sincere or not, telling her all she wants now is to be Mona’s friend.

Mona has enough friends, and hot Mike Montgomery, so shrugs off Alison’s overture and warns her that by the time Mona’s done with her, Ali’s going to wish she stayed dead.

Suddenly, the thought of Ali going back to school is all shiny and new. The Liars may revert to their ninth grade selves so Ali can be Queen, but Mean Girl Mona is here to stay. Winner takes Rosewood.

Back at Casa DiLaurentis, the shelter dog earns his worth when he digs up Ali’s mom from her shallow grave in the yard and leads the Liars right to her. How many bodies have the Liars discovered now?

The discovery of Mrs. DiLaurentis has the Liars freaked, Jason distraught and Ali cold and calm. Sounds like all is right in Rosewood.

‘Whirly Girlie’ was a roller coaster ride that climbs high but stops just before the plunge. Next week is sure to be full of the stomach dropping moments, but in the meantime, we’re left with more questions. Does Ali know the difference between the truth and a lie? Can Aria keep her guilt from eating away at her? Did Jason kill Mrs. DiLaurentis? Why is Ali wearing a black hoodie? Is she the ‘A’ behind it all? Most importantly, what happened to Toby’s hair?? Share all your theories in comments or at the forum

Grade: B-