Pretty Little Liars S5.21 Review ‘Bloody Hell’
ABC Family – February 24, 2015
Three more episodes until the ‘Big “A” Reveal,” let’s hope all of them aren’t like this week’s ‘Bloody Hell’ and last’s week’s ‘Pretty isn’t the Point’ or it may just be the longest three weeks of our collective lives.
When Veronica is paying attention, she’s a good mother. It’s too bad she hasn’t realized Spencer hasn’t been attending school regularly in years, but we take what we can get. Now that she’s onto Spencer’s truant ways, she sends her to London for an interview at Oxford because it’s completely believable that a girl who is having trouble getting accepted to our Ivys can get into schools abroad. Maybe it is, Oxford was beyond my reach.
We could talk about all the English tropes the storytelling in this episode fell into, but we can handle stereotypes, can’t we? I didn’t even mind Wren and Melissa being absent, or Spencer not calling Toby to tell him she’s leaving the country, but don’t expect me to believe that Spencer doesn’t know Oxford is made up of three colleges so that Ezra with an accent can make conversation with Spence.
Spencer’s trip to London proves that just because you’ve escaped Rosewood, doesn’t mean you’ve escaped “A,” who manages to plant a vial of blood on Spence before she leaves. It conveniently breaks during her interview with the professor, ruining any chance of Spencer getting to go away to Oxford because PLL has at least two more seasons. The Liars will be attending Rosewood College.
A text from “A” sends Spencer further into a spiral of panic, and she’s set to fly straight home without seeing her sister, but English Accent Ezra calms her down with exercises he uses on his primary school kids (elementary school kids for us Americans).
An American in London has never been quite this boring.
So This Is Love
Talia’s back in Emily’s life after admitting to her hubby that being attracted to women isn’t a phase. Emily’s a bit leery of this development, but after a dance lesson together and Talia taking on the Glass Slipper Pageant lady, Emily’s all in.
Oh yeah, the Cinderella promotion must be ending because the Glass Slippers want Emily out of the pageant. No, not because she’s gay, because she’s friends with a jailbird awaiting trial for murder. The Glass Slippers can’t throw Emily out, but heavily suggest she quits, and Talia suggests they write her a check to do so. It was sweet and lovely, but about as boring as it sounds.
Apologies to Ali
The Liars go to Alison (all but Hanna anyway) to apologize for allowing her to be captured by police, now that they believe she didn’t murder Mona. Ali accepts graciously and tells Aria that she’s going to have to tell her lawyers that Mike knows Mona tried to frame her, not to hurt him, but to save herself. Aria begs for time and prison has changed Ali because she agrees to give it.
Alison makes the wrong decisions all the time. When she should live and let live, she attacks. When she can save herself, she decides to be the bigger person and give it time. Oh Ali, you are so dumb.
Not as dumb as I thought though. After sending Spencer to London, Veronica Hastings visits Ali because she wants to know why her child is visiting. Not only does Ali tell her the truth, but she also asks Veronica to coach her so she can testify and prove she’s not a murderer. Veronica has her doubts that this is possible at all, but she agrees. While looking through the materials again, she notices something isn’t right and tells Spencer to stay in London. We have extradition, Veronica, but it certainly buys you some time. And allows the show to redeem itself on this week’s lousy London trip.
Varjak with a “C”
Aria’s all about saving Mike this week and tries to put on Spencer’s detective hat to do it. She employs Mrs. Hastings to listen to her for an hour and realizes that Mike is in serious trouble for withholding information from the police. Probably less than she thinks, because she hasn’t filled in Mrs. H on the whole story – Mike’s a minor, a troubled kid taken advantage of, history of mental/emotional health issues who a good lawyer could get off with probation – but still, Aria’s being proactive for once, so points to her.
Somehow, she manages to dig up information on Cyrus that leads her to learn that he’s been injured at his job and is in the hospital. Wanting back-up, she goes to the second best P.I. in the Liars, Hanna, who goes along even though she doesn’t think it’s a great idea. The two get a short visit with Cyrus, who tells them that being almost burned to death wasn’t an accident, it was a carjacking gone wrong. Before he can elaborate, the girls are kicked out and Hanna’s sleuthing skills lead her to the discovery that carjack was really Varjak, a character in Ali’s favorite obsession, Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The girls are cheered by the fact that Cyrus spelled the name wrong, meaning he’s only met “A” in person and will eventually be able to tell them who “A” is.
Just like last week (and many weeks before), “A” is one step ahead. Pretending to be a burn victim, “A” shares the room with Cyrus and after the girls leave, he’s as good as dead.
Also nearly dead? Aria, after she snoops some more in Mike’s room and is knocked over when Mike’s bench press fails. Thankfully, Andrew is there and to help her and tell us that it’s a good thing it broke on her and not Mike, because Mike would have had his skull crushed by the weights. Ouch.
Aria and Andrew share a kiss and now I’m certain he’s “A.” Aria doesn’t fall for guys who aren’t stalkery.
Hanna’s Home Life
When she wasn’t playing detective, Hanna was hanging out with Ali and Ms. Marin. Ashley totally had me fooled, thinking she was still taking calls from Jason, but nope! Turns out, her Pastor boyfriend forgave her infidelity and she’s sporting a big rock. Hanna’s not as excited about Ms. Marin’s engagement because her new daddy left Ashley hanging too long in the wind, but Ashley tells her that it’s good he thought about it instead of just forgiving her. They needed to be honest, blah, blah.
With this life lesson imparted, Hanna was able to visit Alison again in jail to apologize. Alison refused the apology and gave one of her own, she finally understands what a bitch she was ordering the Liars around. It was a sweet scene, though I laughed when Alison said she really did think ordering them around was helping them, because it’s nice to see that jail hasn’t completely changed her. Ali can still lie to herself.
And what was “A” up to this week besides loosening bolts on exercise equipment and sending blood to the UK via Spencer? Stuffing $20s in bibles for jailbirds at Ali’s prison. “A” really likes to alternate between nasty (setting people on fire, even dirtbags like Cyrus) and nice (gifting money).
Did you find ‘Bloody Hell’ bloody boring or was it just me? How did “A” time that text to Spencer – does it mean that Melissa and Wren on the “A”-team again? Can Mrs. Hastings save Alison? Can Aria save Mike? Tells us your thoughts in comments or head over to the forum.