Valentine’s Day Sucks! Spend Cupid’s Day Through the Eyes of Vampire Diaries and other Favorite TV Shows

Valentine’s Day Sucks! Spend Cupid’s Day Through the Eyes of Vampire Diaries and other Favorite TV Shows

Valentine’s Day Sucks…Spend Cupid’s Day Through The Eyes Of Big Bang Theory, Criminal Minds, The Following, How I Met Your Mother, Pretty Little Liars, Supernatural and Vampire Diaries

O Romeo, Romeo!

Romeo & Juliet may be known as one of the most romantic tragedies of our time, but that was way before Valentine’s Day got commercial. With Cupid running around, shooting arrows at the wrong (or too many) lovers, mocking those without love, is there any wonder TV Land is messy for our favorite fictional people. RTVC did some digging. We stalked and spied, we wire taped, we got a hold of those Valentine’s that came in the mail. So let’s check in on some of the lovelorn, love lost and the plain old not interested.

Valentine’s Day 2013, Which Salvatore Will Elena Be With On Vampire Diaries?

Elena

You never know just who is in Elena’s heart, on any given day. We grabbed this out of her journal.

Stefan,
Roses are red,

Violets are blue,
Right now, I’m with your brother.
Don’t worry,
Tomorrow or next year,
I’m sure I’ll be with you. 
Love, Elena

BBT‘s Sheldon Doesn’t Believe In Valentine’s Day

Amy and Sheldon

Dear Amy,

Penny is convinced I need to write you a poem and make a big deal of Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is, quite simply, ho-ha, made up by greedy corporations. I know you’re too smart to fall into the trap of needing a gift to celebrate the death of St. Valentine’s and call it love.

What is the big deal? Look at Leonard and Penny. He’s going to buy her chocolates, which she’ll offer to share and it will be a night of lactose-intolerant explosions. No romance there. As for Bernadette, well, if she wants a nice piece of jewelry, she might as well go buy it herself. You’ve seen Howard’s clothes, he can’t pick out anything nice and she’s paying for it anyway because Howard is an engineer with a master’s degree. I can’t believe he hasn’t gone back to get his PhD in something. 

I’m glad that you, Amy Farah Flower, are more advanced in your thinking than most gals …

Best Regards, Sheldon

Turns out we aren’t the only spies around! After Penny hears about that letter….

Dear Amy,

Penny broke my Green Lantern coffee mug. She claims she wanted to show me how it felt to not have something I wanted on Valentine’s Day. I loved that mug every day, not just Valentine’s Day.

Ignore my earlier letter about staying home and not celebrating. Why don’t we go see Zero Dark Thirty? While there aren’t any traditional Valentine’s Day stoning or beheadings in it, I heard that people are shot and tortured, so it’s close to what St. Valentine went through. After, you can take me to the comic book store to replace that mug Penny heartlessly shattered.  Leonard really needs to do something about her.

Love, Sheldon

Mindy’s Getting Take-Out For One

Mindy

With her best friends married or in a relationship, Mindy’s probably skipping Valentine’s Day all together this year. Can’t you just picture her night in?

Mindy: Um, yeah may I place an order for one please, I’d like … are you judging me? I’m pretty sure you are judging me, I heard it in your tone. I don’t need it.  I’m a doctor, a very busy doctor and so is my doctor boyfriend, Dr. Drake Ramoray. He’s having coffee with some our friends, Ross, Monica, Chandler and Rachel and I’m going to be joining them …  No, I’m not talking about Friends that was so like what 10 years ago? But since you brought it up what do you think if I got “The Rachel” cut? Time to bring it back right … hello, hello – what’s his problem it was a very popular cut?

Maybe next year she’ll plan head and just go with ice cream!

Joe Carroll Knows Your Love Language

-the-following--epis

One of the Followers sent this to RealTVChat. I guess Joe wants to be sure Ryan reads it.

Ryan,

We never got a chance to discuss the poem “A Valentine” by Poe. You would love it. It’s more of a riddle, a way for Poe to declare his love for a married woman.

Poe used tact and made grand yet respectful romantic gestures when trying to court someone already spoken for.  How unfortunate that you didn’t get around to reading him prior to trying to sleep with my wife. You could have used some gallantry.

I’d ask you to give Claire a kiss for me, but I hear you’re still sleeping alone. Be sure to check behind the doors before you shut those pretty little blue eyes.

Affectionately, Joe

Dean’s Too Cute To Be Left Alone on Valentine’s Day – Supernatural

Credit to Sodahead.com

Credit to Sodahead.com

We bet Dean has to hide indoors on Valentine’s Day! Can you just imagine him, minding his own business in the grocery story, when something like this happens.

Person Without Valentine: Hey, so do you know what these are?  (holds up small orange)
Dean:  Orange.
Person Without Valentine: No, I think they’re something else…what are they called. What’s that sign say? (points)
Dean: Clementine?
Person Without Valentine: Yes, I’d love to be your Valentine! Don’t worry, I have the night all planned. What time should I pick you up at? Do you prefer dark chocolate or milk chocolate? Roses?
Dean: I miss demons. Humans are crazy.

Don’t feel too badly for poor Dean though. I’m sure he’ll grab Sam and head off to the bars, find himself a good time for the night.

Criminal Minds’ Spencer Reid is Love Lost

Reid

Poor Spencer! After 7 seasons, he finally found love only to have it snatched from him. Reid’s not letting that get him down though. He gave us this quote as he was wrapping up a case.

William Shakespeare said; “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.” Though Maeve was in my life for a short time, much of it from afar, I was struck by the blind cupid’s arrow. I know love and will never forget Maeve.

There’s a Thin Line Between Love and Hate for the Pretty Little Liars

PLL

We’re guessing the A-team is a big fan of the 2001 Valentine movie, starring David Boreanaz. Looking at it objectively, we can see why they’d be fans of Boreanaz’s earlier work. Angelus was one of the best tormentors in TV History.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
They’ll need dental records,
To identify you, bitches.
– A.

So don’t worry, if you’re out there, crushing on the wrong person or sleeping with too many people. It could be worse, you could have Joe Carroll or the A-team stalking you (if you do, worry and call the police). There’s still a chance for you to find the right person.  Here is our favorite happy, non-traditional Valentine Day Couple.

Barney Learns to Love Having A Valentine on HIMYM

Barney-Robin- 

Were you worried Barney would flub up this Valentine’s Day? We were, so we were glad to overhear this exchange between the two.

Barney: Valentine’s day used to be the best day of the year. The bars were filled with hot babes with no dates. No need for sophisticated playbook plays, just crack a smile and they’d fall into my bed. Now that I’m getting married, it’s a Ted lifestyle for me. Buy the roses; import some chocolates, expensive jewelry.

Robin: Please. You’re not marrying Ted. Let’s suit-up get our laser tag on. After we kick some ass, we’ll lite up a stogie and then you can make it rain for mama all night long. 

Who can you picture writing poems, placing take-out orders or just ignoring the holiday all together. Let us know in the comments below!

4 Comments
  1. Claps!

    Damon to Elena – I don’t mind if you get back with Stefan as long as you makeout with me on occasion

  2. LOVED them all. And I think you got each person right.
    Cougar Town

    Andy: Happy Valentine’s Day my beautiful … (Ellie hits Andy)
    Ellie: Shut up and just give me the damn candy. And you better not give me some Cuban knock-off like last year. I told you Andy your Desi Amaz gene only gets you only so far.